Week of Monday, September 28 – Saturday, October 3
Dare to Discipline – Man as an Instructor
Dare to Discipline – Man as an Instructor
His father had never at any time displeased him by asking, “Why have you done thus and so?†He was also a very handsome man, and he was born next after Absalom. — 1 Kings 1:6 (ESV)
Growing up in eastern North Carolina, I often heard the old proverb: “Spare the rod and spoil the child†(Prov. 13:24). I’ll “spare†you the specifics, but my dad was a big believer in that proverb. So were my teachers in school, who never shied from “applying the board of education to the seat of knowledge.†Unfortunately, parents today following my dad’s example would be accused of child abuse, and a teacher who metes out “corporal punishment†like they did back in my school would be fired and probably sued. Obviously, I am not an advocate for physical abuse, but I am a strong proponent of firm discipline. Without it, kids growing up are at a huge disadvantage and many become a detriment to the culture.
God’s word offers the example of King David, who played a passive role as a father and never once exercised discipline of his son Adonijah. We can speculate as to why. Maybe David was too busy as king to engage his son, who after all was one of many children. Or maybe David worried that if he corrected Adonijah, he could lose him, so he chose to be the “fun dad†instead. Maybe because Adonijah was so handsome and winsome, David let him get away with murder. Or maybe David thought his boys needed to learn the hard way… let their choices have their natural consequences in the “school of hard knocks.†After all, by the time the events in 1 Kings 1 took place, David was in the last days of his life and his boys were old enough to make their own decisions. Whatever the reason, David’s refusal to correct and discipline Adonijah only led to more problems.
The fact is, Adonijah grew up to become an entitled, opportunistic, greedy, and narcissistic man. When David was nearing death, Adonijah demanded the throne of Israel, treating his father with no respect by luring away David’s friends to basically be a part of a “coup.†Passed over in favor of Solomon for the throne, Adonijah was eventually put to death as a threat. What a sad end. While Adonijah was ultimately responsible for his decisions and character before God (as we all are), David definitely played a role in his son’s development into the disappointing man he became. David’s passivity and lack of discipline of his son led to disaster.
Yes, discipline is difficult, often unpleasant, but it is always necessary. The fact is, if you love your kids, you will correct them. Proverbs 3:11-12 tells us: “My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor detest His correction; For whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights.†Discipline and correction are proof of love. The opposite is true: when limits are missing, so often is love.
If we want to raise young champions for Christ and leave a legacy of enduring faith, we cannot assume instruction or discipline will happen on its own. Nor can we always delegate it to others. Guys, it is up to us. We cannot stand idly by when our kids of any age take a path that is displeasing to the Lord. Because David didn’t set boundaries for his son, he lost his son. Everyone leaves a legacy through their children, but not every legacy is good. If we are apathetic or unintentional about discipline, disaster can be the result. Learn the lesson provided by David and Adonijah. Be willing to say NO to your children. Know where they are and who they are with. Dare to discipline.
God’s word offers the example of King David, who played a passive role as a father and never once exercised discipline of his son Adonijah. We can speculate as to why. Maybe David was too busy as king to engage his son, who after all was one of many children. Or maybe David worried that if he corrected Adonijah, he could lose him, so he chose to be the “fun dad†instead. Maybe because Adonijah was so handsome and winsome, David let him get away with murder. Or maybe David thought his boys needed to learn the hard way… let their choices have their natural consequences in the “school of hard knocks.†After all, by the time the events in 1 Kings 1 took place, David was in the last days of his life and his boys were old enough to make their own decisions. Whatever the reason, David’s refusal to correct and discipline Adonijah only led to more problems.
The fact is, Adonijah grew up to become an entitled, opportunistic, greedy, and narcissistic man. When David was nearing death, Adonijah demanded the throne of Israel, treating his father with no respect by luring away David’s friends to basically be a part of a “coup.†Passed over in favor of Solomon for the throne, Adonijah was eventually put to death as a threat. What a sad end. While Adonijah was ultimately responsible for his decisions and character before God (as we all are), David definitely played a role in his son’s development into the disappointing man he became. David’s passivity and lack of discipline of his son led to disaster.
Yes, discipline is difficult, often unpleasant, but it is always necessary. The fact is, if you love your kids, you will correct them. Proverbs 3:11-12 tells us: “My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor detest His correction; For whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights.†Discipline and correction are proof of love. The opposite is true: when limits are missing, so often is love.
If we want to raise young champions for Christ and leave a legacy of enduring faith, we cannot assume instruction or discipline will happen on its own. Nor can we always delegate it to others. Guys, it is up to us. We cannot stand idly by when our kids of any age take a path that is displeasing to the Lord. Because David didn’t set boundaries for his son, he lost his son. Everyone leaves a legacy through their children, but not every legacy is good. If we are apathetic or unintentional about discipline, disaster can be the result. Learn the lesson provided by David and Adonijah. Be willing to say NO to your children. Know where they are and who they are with. Dare to discipline.
- How does David’s bad example as an Instructor speak to you personally?
- What boundaries have you set for your children? Are you tempted to ignore their disobedience because you are too busy, or want to be the “fun dad†or simply let the guilty party talk his/her way out of it? Knowing that each child responds differently, what practical steps can you take to ensure that each of your children receive the appropriate discipline from you as a sign of your love?
- Thank God for the men and women who have courageously stepped into your life to set moral and spiritual boundaries and exerted firm discipline. Ask Him for wisdom to know when and how to step in to discipline your children and spiritual children now.