Week of Monday September 7 – September 13
When Bullets Fly — Man as Battle Buddy
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity… A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” - Proverbs 17:17; 18:24 ESV
In the military, you learn quickly that there is a big difference between the men who are around you at base and the men you want beside you downrange when the bullets start flying. Combat has a way of stripping away the superficial. Rank, reputation, and talk don't mean nearly as much when you're tired, afraid, under pressure, and depending on the man next to you to do his job. That's when you discover who you can count on. That's when a companion becomes a Battle Buddy.
Solomon understood that principal thousands of years ago. “A friend loves at all times,” he wrote, “and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). Then he added, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). Put those two truths together and you discover something every man needs to understand: you don't measure friendship by how many people surround you when life is good. You measure it by who is still standing beside you when the bullets fly.
For most of us, those bullets won't be literal lead rounds. They can come in different forms. A doctor delivers a diagnosis you never expected. Your marriage hits a rough patch. You lose your job. A child walks away from the Lord. You bury someone you love. Maybe you stumble spiritually and suddenly the man everyone thought was strong is struggling just to stay on his feet. Adversity has a way of revealing the difference between acquaintances and friends.
That's why Solomon says a brother is “born for adversity.” He isn't suggesting that adversity creates friendship out of nothing. Adversity reveals friendship. A real Battle Buddy doesn't head for cover and leave you exposed. He moves toward you. He stays on your flank. He helps carry the load when yours becomes too heavy. Sometimes he doesn't have any answers at all; he simply refuses to let you walk through the fight alone.
But biblical friendship goes deeper than standing with a man when life turns against him. A Battle Buddy also loves you enough to tell you the truth when you are the problem. We need other men who can see our faults and failures and have permission to speak words of warning and correction. If I'm moving toward danger and don't see it, I don't need a buddy who keeps quiet because he doesn't want to offend me. I need a man who will sound the warning. Sometimes watching another man's flank means encouraging him when he is under attack. Sometimes it means confronting him when his choices are inviting collateral damage. Either way, love refuses to leave him exposed.
That's especially important because men tend to isolate. We can have plenty of acquaintances and still have no one who really knows us. Solomon warns about “a man of many companions.” You can be surrounded by people and still fight your most important battles alone. Every man needs at least one brother who knows where he is vulnerable, who will pray for him, challenge him, encourage him, and show up when the fight gets ugly.
Again, there's a flip side to these Proverbs. Don't just ask, “Who is that man for me?” Ask, “Am I that man for somebody else?” When your brother's bullets start flying, do you move toward him or away from him? Can he call you at two in the morning? Will you stand beside him when standing beside him cost you something? Will you tell him the truth when everyone else is telling him what he wants to hear?
Ultimately, Jesus showed us what this kind of friendship looks like. He said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). Jesus didn't merely stand beside us in our greatest battle. He stepped into it. When we were helpless in our sin, Christ went to the cross and laid down His life for us. He took what we deserved so that we could receive what only He could provide—forgiveness, reconciliation, and eternal life.
Men, that's our model. We will never be the Savior of our friends—only Jesus can fill that role. But because He has loved and continues to love us sacrificially, we can love other men sacrificially. Don't settle for being one of many companions. Be the brother who was born for adversity. Be the man who stays when others leave, speaks truth when others remain silent, and steps toward his brother when the bullets start flying.
When Bullets Fly — Man as Battle Buddy
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity… A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” - Proverbs 17:17; 18:24 ESV
In the military, you learn quickly that there is a big difference between the men who are around you at base and the men you want beside you downrange when the bullets start flying. Combat has a way of stripping away the superficial. Rank, reputation, and talk don't mean nearly as much when you're tired, afraid, under pressure, and depending on the man next to you to do his job. That's when you discover who you can count on. That's when a companion becomes a Battle Buddy.
Solomon understood that principal thousands of years ago. “A friend loves at all times,” he wrote, “and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). Then he added, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). Put those two truths together and you discover something every man needs to understand: you don't measure friendship by how many people surround you when life is good. You measure it by who is still standing beside you when the bullets fly.
For most of us, those bullets won't be literal lead rounds. They can come in different forms. A doctor delivers a diagnosis you never expected. Your marriage hits a rough patch. You lose your job. A child walks away from the Lord. You bury someone you love. Maybe you stumble spiritually and suddenly the man everyone thought was strong is struggling just to stay on his feet. Adversity has a way of revealing the difference between acquaintances and friends.
That's why Solomon says a brother is “born for adversity.” He isn't suggesting that adversity creates friendship out of nothing. Adversity reveals friendship. A real Battle Buddy doesn't head for cover and leave you exposed. He moves toward you. He stays on your flank. He helps carry the load when yours becomes too heavy. Sometimes he doesn't have any answers at all; he simply refuses to let you walk through the fight alone.
But biblical friendship goes deeper than standing with a man when life turns against him. A Battle Buddy also loves you enough to tell you the truth when you are the problem. We need other men who can see our faults and failures and have permission to speak words of warning and correction. If I'm moving toward danger and don't see it, I don't need a buddy who keeps quiet because he doesn't want to offend me. I need a man who will sound the warning. Sometimes watching another man's flank means encouraging him when he is under attack. Sometimes it means confronting him when his choices are inviting collateral damage. Either way, love refuses to leave him exposed.
That's especially important because men tend to isolate. We can have plenty of acquaintances and still have no one who really knows us. Solomon warns about “a man of many companions.” You can be surrounded by people and still fight your most important battles alone. Every man needs at least one brother who knows where he is vulnerable, who will pray for him, challenge him, encourage him, and show up when the fight gets ugly.
Again, there's a flip side to these Proverbs. Don't just ask, “Who is that man for me?” Ask, “Am I that man for somebody else?” When your brother's bullets start flying, do you move toward him or away from him? Can he call you at two in the morning? Will you stand beside him when standing beside him cost you something? Will you tell him the truth when everyone else is telling him what he wants to hear?
Ultimately, Jesus showed us what this kind of friendship looks like. He said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). Jesus didn't merely stand beside us in our greatest battle. He stepped into it. When we were helpless in our sin, Christ went to the cross and laid down His life for us. He took what we deserved so that we could receive what only He could provide—forgiveness, reconciliation, and eternal life.
Men, that's our model. We will never be the Savior of our friends—only Jesus can fill that role. But because He has loved and continues to love us sacrificially, we can love other men sacrificially. Don't settle for being one of many companions. Be the brother who was born for adversity. Be the man who stays when others leave, speaks truth when others remain silent, and steps toward his brother when the bullets start flying.
- Who are the men in your life you can genuinely count on when the “bullets” start flying—and do they know they can count on you?
- Who in your life is facing adversity right now, and what can you do this week to move toward him rather than simply telling him you are praying for him?
- Ask the Lord to knit your heart with a brother who can stand with you in adversity, especially when the bullets of life start flying.